Once,
there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose
parents compelled him to get married. They had seen so many marriage
proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought that, it
was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone
else in mind.
However every time the parents left the girl’s house, the young man would always say:
‘she is not the one for me’.
The
young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing, however
one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was
religious, and practicing. On that evening, the young man, and girl,
were left to talk, and ask each other questions. (As one would expect).
The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask
first.
The young girl asked the young man so many questions, she
asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his
habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his
experiences, even his shoe size. The young man replied to all of her
questions, politely, without tiring, and with a smile. The young girl
took up nearly all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked
the young man: “Do you have any questions for me?”
The young man
said, “It’s ok”. I only have 3 questions.The young girl thought, “Wow,
only 3 questions okay, shoot”. The young man’s first question was, “Whom
do you love the most ?” She said, “This is an easy question; my
mother”, she replied and smiled.
Second question, he asked, “You said that you read a lot of Qur’an, could you tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?”
Hearing
this she went red and embarrassed and said, I do not know the meaning
of any yet, but I am hoping to learn few soon insha’allah. I’ve just
been a bit busy.
The third question the young man asked was, “I
have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are more
prettier than you, so why should I marry you?”
Hearing this the
young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and
said I do not want to marry this man, he is insulting my beauty, and
intelligence. And the young man and his parents, were once again, left
without an agreement of marriage. This time, the young mans parents were
really angry, and said what did you do to anger that girl, the family
was so nice, pleasant, and they were religious like you wanted. “What
did you ask the girl??” Tell us !
The young man said, “Firstly I asked her, whom do you love the most? she said, her mother.”
The
parents said “So, what is wrong with that??” The young man said, ”No
one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his/her messenger (saw) more
than anyone else in the world. If a woman loves Allah and the Prophet
(pbuh) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay
faithful to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah (swt), and we
can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty”.
The
young man said, “Then I asked, you read a lot of Qur’an, can you tell
me the meaning of any surah? And she said no, because I haven’t had time
yet. So I thought of that hadith
“The world is accursed – cursed
is all that is in it, except for the dhikr of Allah and all that is
related to it, or an alim, or a student.”It is recorded in al-Jami
as-Sagheer. She has lived 20 years by now and didn’t had any time, to
seek knowledge of Qur’an, How can I marry a woman, who does not know her
rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children,
except how to be negligent, because the woman is the madrasa (school)
and the best of teachers to her children.
“The third question I
asked her was, that a lot of girls, more prettier than her, had
approached me for marriage, so why should I choose you? Upon this, she
stormed off, getting angry”. The young man’s parents said “That was a
horrible thing to ask, why did you do ask that question, we are going
back there to apologise”. The young man said “I said this for a specific
purpose, to test whether she could control her anger or not. The
Prophet (saw) said ‘do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get
angry’ when asked how to become pious; because anger is from Satan. If a
woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met,do you
think she will be able to control it with her husband??”.
